Dear Lord Gauranga,
Now that I have let You into my heart I am no longer able to keep my composure. As far as usefulness, I was of more use to You lifeless. The mechanics of existence were at least manageable without interruptions of crying and bewilderment, shortness of breath Now I never know when a fit of this sort will erupt How can I get anything done if all I do is sit and cry?
If You show the slightest dissatisfaction or I develop the slightest defensive attitude I am under siege.
If I confess this You are sure to make matters worse. But what can I do? I can no longer hide my condition Better to let You know I am conscious of what You are doing and leave it up to You, if You want to torture me like this or make me useful.
I can almost see You. I certainly know You are here.
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