Friday, November 28, 2014

WHEN HE LEFT


Today You flooded in on me.
I have been fighting for weeks.
Today there was a small tear in the corner of my eye
And my heart fluttered
I remembered love
How much I loved my god-brothers and god-sisters.
Because we had the same spiritual father.

When He left
Things changed.
Where did that love go?
Now there is mistrust, anger and hate.
We look at each other as if we are strangers.
I am not welcome in my father's house.
Was I supposed to change when He left?
Become something other than His disciple?

Friday, November 21, 2014

DOVETAIL

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

RESPONSE TO: TODAY WAS THE LETTERS


Yesterday at 09:49 pm
Beautiful and touching.

A few weeks back my wife and I went through the same ritual. My father passed away sometime in March this year having led a full life. So many memories were involved, in the letters, cards and knick knacks, but as rightly said, they were full of silverfish and others.

And we too have a trunkload of photographs which have to sorted out and dealt from the fded beige of the 50's to the modern colour photos of the noughties and also the current decade.
Meena Devi Dasi
A min ago
Our love is meant for Krishna. Lifetime after lifetime we have mother and father. In so many species of life not simply human. And lifetime after lifetime death comes and ends it. Only to start again somewhere else. It is disturbing for the spirit who is eternal and doesn't die when the body dies. Death is a big problem. Death is there because birth is there. But for the soul, the spirit there is neither birth nor death. That is the illusion. Simply liberation is not enough. Because it is not pleasurable. Liberation gives relief but not real pleasure. Only a relationship with the Supreme Personality of Godhead can actually bring pleasure.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

TODAY WAS THE LETTERS


Okay. Today was the day to throw away all the letters my mother saved. Mum saved every letter anyone ever sent to her. They were filled with silverfish. Flipping through them one last time that anyone would read them...tracing the family history. How many times the words, I love you and then signed...the Birthday cards and Valentines cards from my father to my mother, to my father from me, to my mother from my brother. I love you, I will always love you, You are the one in my life, love forever, over and over and over...in a million different ways, on hundreds of cards and in hundreds of letters. 

Then under the huge pile in the bottom of the drawer a black ribbon. This is what is worn during a funeral. 

I did find a poem Mum saved that I wrote in 2008:

I am more than stool and urine...
More than rotting flesh and teeth.
look beneath.
I am here.
I defy.
There's more to me than meets the eye.

Passed language, thought and words
Bound not by routine and ritual.
By sheer will.
I persevere.
I do not die.
Through love you see me, hear my silent cry. 

Today was the letters and some day in the near future I'll have to deal with all the photos.