MY DEITY DOESN'T REQUIRE ANY FACILITIES AT ALL

I have been wondering why I am so hesitant to have anyone come into the house. I thought maybe it is because I have been living in solitary for so long that it is some kind of quirk I may have developed.

When I saw the next step for Theresa is kirtan and Bhagavad gita I thought in the house is where that should take place before the little altar like in a temple but all sorts of resistance arose.

I walked by her house to get her for the japa walk and went inside for a few minutes. It is like the other houses here immaculate. Everything has a place and everything is in it's place standing at attention. The floor is squeaky clean and polished (tiles) it glitters. The trees and plants outside all trimmed to perfection by the gardeners. It is like a small palace.

But am not living like that. The house is not a temple. I realized I am simply camped out here. My Deity is the Holy Name. My Deity doesn't require any facilities at all. So the house looks like a vacant house. There is no furniture, there are no pictures on the wall. It is completely bare. My time is in chanting and hearing not in maintaining a house. I could pack up and leave in an hour or two. Putting the Bhagavatam and the Chaitanya Charitamrta in boxes would be the time consuming part.

For Theresa to come inside I think would be too much of a shock for her and there is no need to come inside. Inside where? This might as well be a tent or a van. So meeting outside with the squirrels, peacocks, mockingbirds, lizards (and yesterday I saw a gecko) under the giant black olive next to the papaya tree full of fruit is the temple. The Deity is the holy Name decorated with the transcendental sounds coming from Srila Prabhupada's Bhagavad gita.