LESSONS FROM THE PAPAYA WORM

Their mother, the giant fruit fly that looks like a wasp, pushes her eggs into the newly forming fruit.

Her eggs hatch and feed on the papaya seeds and fruit.

When the papaya is ripe they eat their way out of the fruit.

There is nothing left of the fruit since they poison it as they feed.

I didn't know.

I planted sixteen papaya trees going against the neighborhood association code but managed to be able to keep them even against the violation.

That was big hurdle but it was crossed.

Oh, to have the fruit.

I dreamed of having more fruit than I needed.

Giving some away and selling the rest.

I would be so successful and have the sweet fruits and money too.

Every day I would check on them two or three times a day.

Chanting Hare Krishna to them,

fencing them when they were small from the peacocks who like to eat their leaves,

Removing the giant green caterpillars who can devour a whole plant in a matter of hours.

Making sure the professional gardeners for the community didn't run them over with lawnmowers

or get too close with the weeds eaters and damage their trunks.

It had been too hot and the female plants refused to produce blossoms.

Only male blossoms for 6 months.

But finally the cooler weather came and with it the formation of the fruits.

The long awaited time. Oh the papayas.

But what is this?

The fruits are turning yellow prematurely.

And some are falling off the tree.

The blossom end is soft and mushy.

Pinch it open and there they are.

The fruit worms.

No this can’t be!

Oh, but it is.

I was so happy thinking of the papayas growing so nicely

anticipating the sweet fruits.

But no. It will not be.

There is no way to control for the fruit worms.

Other than putting a bag over each fruit just as it begins to form.

These papaya trees are 12 and 15 feet high.

It is too labor intensive for me.

What is Krishna telling me?

I don’t want to look at the lessons, but I must.

There are so many lessons here.

The tears have come.

Lesson 1. I knew that my meditation was not pure in the very beginning. When I was calculating how to get so many fruits, more than I needed and sell some. I knew this was not helping me in the direction of pure devotional service. But the trees were growing and the obstacles were being overcome. I was infected with material desires just like the papayas were infected with worms. The worms make the fruit unofferable to Krishna. So the fruit of my endeavor is also unofferable for pure devotional service being infected with material desires. 

This is where the tears come. The realization of my fallen state. How I am infected. This is where the prayers come to please remove these infections.

Lesson 2. How I am disappointed at not being able to taste the nice fruits. How Krishna is disappointed at not being able to accept me. There is sand in the sweet rice. There are worms in the papaya fruits and there are contaminations of material desire in me. I am disappointed but Krishna is also disappointed. He wants to enjoy the fruits.

This is where the tears come. This is where the prayers come to please remove these contaminations so that Krishna can enjoy.

Lesson 3. The papaya trees' struggles. The trees have worked so hard to produce some fruit but all their efforts are now useless. The trees are useless except as food for worms and insects. Their fruit is spoiled. The worms feed on its seeds, so the seeds will not be able to sprout. Maybe a few will survive the infestation.

So what do I do? I think to cut the trees down. Perhaps to plant figs or pomegranate. The papaya trees are so sad. They beg, "Please don’t cut us down. We tried so hard. It is not our fault. It is our karma. Please let us live. Chant to us. Help us. We want more than anything to offer fruit to Krishna."

This is where the tears come. This is my prayer too. “Please don’t cut me off. I am working so hard to reach you. I want more than anything to be offerable.”

Lesson 4. The trees have produced fruits. But they are useless. Like me. I have taken birth in a family. I am the fruit of that family tree. But I am useless. I am infected with material desires. The family tree has endeavored so much through the generations but the final fruit, me, is infected.

This is where the tears come. If I can become free from infection than the entire family tree will have served its purpose. They will not have struggled in vain. All the ancestors wherever they are will benefit.

Lesson 5. "We hear that Sukadeva Goswami has his name Suka.. because, like a parrot who tastes a mango and makes it sweeter by pecking at it with his beak, Sukadeva relishes the Bhagavatam and makes it sweeter by then speaking the message of Bhagavatam. 

But I am more like the papaya worm. I am attracted to the sweet message and seek to relish the Bhagavatam but I may spoil the message. What can I do? I cannot stop trying to taste the sweet message of love of Godhead, the ripened fruit of Vedas, the Srimad Bhagavatam.

This is where the tears come. I am a lowly worm. This is where the prayers come. Please make me like the parrot, Sukadeva.