SURINAM CHERRIES AND THE SPIRIT OF DEVIATION

SURINAM CHERRIES AND THE SPIRIT OF DEVIATION

     Surinam cherry bushes grow wild here in Florida. And this time of year they are loaded with plump berries. Not exactly cherries, more like red grapes with large stone in the center and a puckery after taste.

     It was a huge distraction.

     My path is obviously hearing and chanting. I cannot really do anything else in devotional service. I have no particular talents or abilities and I get very easily distracted. Everything I try to do even for Srila Prabhupada my spiritual master and/or for Krishna or Lord Chaitanya immediately becomes contaminated by my false sense of self. I am the doer, I am the enjoyer, I am the friend. Inevitably, I commit offenses and find myself sitting outside devotional service wondering how I got there.

     Hearing and chanting. Hearing and chanting. Hearing and chanting… my only refuge. Not for any other purpose than to take shelter of the transcendental Lord present in His transcendental sound vibration.

     The cherries.

     I knew I was getting distracted but I ignored the warning. The most important time of day… chanting japa early morning as the sun is rising… there I am with one hand chanting japa and the other hand picking the cherries.

     It is a long season for the Surinam cherries, almost two weeks. By the end of the first week, japa time was spent simply picking the cherries. Not even one hand in the bead bag. And there were buckets of cherries everywhere. In the cooler, on the table, in the garage. Just waiting to be processed into ? I didn’t even know what I was going to do with them. Like a miser who hoards gold. Just somehow having all these berries was the thing. 

     Almost completely forgetting Krishna. Almost forgetting, but not entirely. The quality of my consciousness during the day definitely compromised. Hankerings for this and that beginning to appear. Less chanting and hearing. and the taste and desire to hear and chant diminishing. I could feel my mind starting to race over things from the past.

     The practice is to control the mind by fixing it on Krishna, His name, His form, His pastimes, His paraphernalia (flute, buffalo horn, peacock feather, His chamara fan..) But there I am knee deep in Surinam cherries.

     The big day has arrived. I have to do something with the berries. I will make juice. And sort of think of Krishna, "Krishna will probably like the juice," but really I am thinking, "I will really like the juice." I even taste a little of the juice as I am processing the berries. Some of the juice has fermented. But I still drink it anyway, it is obviously alcoholic. And a very high proof. I just laugh. My madness is out of control. Who cares about Krishna!!!!!

     But I am conscious of this deviant spirit, I do not want it but there I am caught up. It is very dangerous. A small thing, a small deviation and the spirit of it spreads throughout the soul. It is the “spirit of deviation,” not the inconsequential berries. It is the spirit.

     Eve was tempted by an apple. By the spirit of deviation.

     I am so very fortunate. As I was juicing the berries I noticed a small maggot on the counter. And, yes, as I looked into the berry mash, there were more maggots. Many, many more. The berries were completed infested with maggots. It was glimpse into hell!! Oh Krishna, you are have saved me once again from this madness. And it was perfect. I had drunk some of the juice before noticing this. If I had not tasted the juice, this experience might not have had such a lasting and deep impression. My tongue feels wretched, my stomach is turning and I feel wretched. 

     What a great, great mercy to teach me this way.

I am so slow to learn. Please let me always taste only the nectar of Your devotional service, the nectar of Your glorification.