SAID SOMETHING WRONG

   
     The fire of guru's transcendental rant in glorification of the Lord was building and starting to rage. He has allowed me to interrupt him from time to time to try to put more fuel on the fire which I really like to do. So I brought my little piece of fuel and opened the furnace door to put it in and whoosh, singed eyebrows. The fire turned on me and if I didn't back away it would have turned me to ashes.
     For the next hour or so of the session I couldn't hear a thing. All I could do was fidget and wrestle with my mind. What did I do wrong? It couldn't have been what I said because of not being presented in a scholarly way, which gurudeva doesn't really care a whole lot about anyway, so it must have been my attitude. Was I challenging in someway? I didn't think so.
     He was making a point about how stuffy priests and brahmins full of erudite scholarship but devoid of devotional potency in their personal being are not qualified to present themselves as acaryas, worshipable representatives of God. It came to my heart that in the vaisnava line of acarya succession there are some uncommon scholars but also there are also those who are not scholars, in recent times, Gaura Kishora das babaji, who carried the devotional potency although completely illiterate. His only disciple was the greatest scholar of the time, Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati.
     So I opened the door to the furnace to place my offering and whoosh, singed eyebrows.
After hours of trying to understand why I got burnt, so to speak, I concluded it is because I was interrupting too much. The fire was already very hot. Also if I'm going to be around such intensity I will need to know how to maneuver myself.
     Later toward the end of the session and the raging glorification was subsiding. I expressed my experience. In mild dissatisfaction he asked me if I was trying to challenge him that he had neglected something and that I was trying to correct him by adding the reference to Gaura kishora?
Perhaps he detected something there in my attitude that I was not aware of. It was a good lesson. If a challenging attitude was there, he saw it and I didn't. Who wouldn't want a guru like that. After all what am I doing there in the first place if he can't do things that? And even of it wasn't there why not be reminded of the dangers of challenging a real teacher?