RECURRING DREAM

As a child I used to have a recurring dream, it went on for months.

I was an astronaut. They sent me up in a spaceship
and when I came back to earth and everyone was greeting me
when I went to hug my mother and father there was nothing there. 
The forms were there but there was no substance.

I would panic and get back in the spaceship...
go up and try to find the real home.
When I would come down and get out of the spaceship
the same thing would happen again.
This would go on all night long.
I dreaded having to go to sleep.
Every night for months. I had to stop it.

So I decided to kill myself in the dream.
I would remain as awake as I could when the dream started..
go up in the space ship... and then jump out of it in outer space.

It worked I never had the dream again.
Maybe something left over from a previous lifetime.
Impersonal realization or something.
But where is the substance?
Where is Krishna?

Interestingly Srila Vyasadeva mentions this
in the first verse of "Srimad Bhagavatam..."

"...I meditate upon that eternally effulgent Lord who is directly and indirectly conscious of all manifestations and yet is beyond them. It is He only who first imparted Vedic knowledge unto the heart of Brahma, the first created being. Through Him this world, like a mirage, appears real even to great sages and demigods. Because of Him, the material universes, created by the three modes of nature, appear to be factual, although they are unreal...." SB 1.1.1