KILLER OF DEMONS

Dear Lord Krishna, I don't want to see the demons. They are so ugly and nasty. I only want to see You.

Crying for You is sweet, blissful and gives life. Crying because of a demon's torment is misery and death. 

There are demons in my father.
Waving the piece of meat he was eating on his fork in my face
saying, "Sure you don't want some."
His face was horrible.
Smiling like he must have smiled when I was child
And had held the same meat in front of the child... eat.

As my father sat there in the hospital bed with catheter
and wired to heart and blood monitors,
a demon, now the king of all, babbling incoherently and complaining about the service...
not being served exactly the way he expected.

A demon peered out of my father's face and
laughed at me for "mumbling to myself"
as I took shelter of the Holy Names of God softly
chanting quietly on my beads.
The demon didn't like it because he wanted me to give full
attention to his nonsensical meanderings and 
demands for agreement with his every statement.
Right or wrong, always right. Right!

Demon possessed. 
They're not always visible.
A demon would get my father 
to beat me violently at different times.
It was very confusing. 
Because my father is very kind and gentle and loving
and it is natural to be drawn to him and trust him.
But then in that trusting open condition
The demons appear and make my father become cruel. 

The demons likes to enter me too 
and give me horrible nightmares
Make me angry and disturb me sexually.
They are my father's demons. 
I had to run away from home many times
growing up to get away from the demons
But now I am stuck. My father is old and 
there is no one else to care for him.

Today, I fell for it. I got too close. I trusted my father.
And now the demons are trying to take me over.
I've been here so many times. Maybe this is the time I get free.
To identify a problem is 99% of solving it.
Since recently conquering fault finding which was such a huge 
problem for so long I was wondering what the next
anartha (unwanted thing) to be relieved of would be.
I had no idea it was would be my father's demons.

Jaya Sri Krishna. The killer of demons.(1)
Killer of Putana. 
Killer of Trnavarta. 
Killer of Aghasura. 
Killer of Bhakasura. 
Killer of Kesi. 
Killer of Aristhasura. 
Killer of Vatsasura. 
Killer of Dhenukasura. 
Killer of Kamsa (the king of the demons)

Jaya Sri Krishna. The lover of Srimati Radharani. 

I wonder what the next anartha is going to be?
Hare Krishna. 

(1)KRISHNA BOOK SUMMARY STUDY 10TH CANTO SRIMAD BHAGAVATAM