HOW WILL YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT?

Quiz time:
How will you get Lord Krishna's love?
Will you buy Lord Krishna or impress Lord Krishna with your talents and abilities?
Will you sacrifice for Lord Krishna? But whatever you sacrifice is supplied by Lord Krishna?
How will you please Lord Krishna?
Build something for Lord Krishna? Make something for Lord Krishna? Then He will be pleased with you?
The He will be pleased with you for this lovely, beautiful, expensive, fascinating blah blah you offered to Him?
Is Lord Krishna like the poor unfortunate Native Americans who were overwhelmed by glass bobbles?
What can you possibly do to please Lord Krishna who has all wealth, all beauty, all knowledge, all fame, all strength and is totally renounced of everything?
Oh you want to purchase His love? You want to buy it somehow?
You want to give Him something in "exchange" but you don't have anything to give to someone who already has everything?
How will you get what you want? Lord Krishna love?

ON HOLD FOREVER

I used to get crank calls at 3am when I worked the night shift at a motel. They knew I had to answer the phone and they would pretend to be asking questions about the motel, but it very quickly veered off into uncharted territory. I learned to recognize these calls after a while and could catch them before it was too late and my head was spinning. If I suspected a crank call I couldn't just hang up on them ..so I would just put them on hold.... forever.

The cycle of repeated births and deaths in the material is like "being on hold forever."

"HARI' AT THE NURSING HOME

At the nursing home. It's really a great place as far as places like that go. If someone needs 24 hour care this place is the Ritz.

This section is the dementia section. But they are receiving such extraordinary care it's really just like nothing is wrong at all. I mean these people are getting exceptionally loving care. 

People that do this kind of work for their livelihood are very saintly. They have to have some love in their hearts for these poor helpless people or they won;t last at the job for long. They really do need to go to the very extreme of service to others.

I thank Lord Krishna a million, million times for allowing my father to be cared for there. I tried to take care of him in the house... he's 98... but it was way beyond my capabilities. People that old very often need a team of caregivers just to keep them going. Just the hygiene part was most unworkable. I mean he's my father and he's incontinent. I can't help him change his underwear. It's just too out there for him and for me. Also he doesn't listen to me and tries to do dangerous things. So I am ever so grateful to have found this place. I looked at a lot of places. But this was the best. There is something very special going on there. 

Sitting with my father, Joan and her husband who comes to visit everyday, and Angela who does the manicures and massages. Yes! Massages!! They were all coloring in coloring books and I was finishing sewing some curtains I brought with me to do as busy work. 

Joan has Alzheimer and a blank stare most of the time. She is lovely to look at. Very sweet face. Just confused and maybe a little fearful. She was fascinated by my hand sewing. i would look up and smile and exclaim very cheerfully with hands in the air, "Hari!" Her face would light up. She knew what I was saying. She remembered. I could see it on her face. This went on for at least 20 minutes every few minutes, "Hari!" and she would light up with a terrific smile. 

Actually it was like playing with a baby. It was so much fun... "Hari!" Every time it was like the first time I said "Hari," both for her and for me. And for our friends at the table coloring.

VIDURA'S OPPORTUNITY

Vidura took it as an opportunity to leave the palace of his brother Dhritarashtra and all the political wranglings that went on there...common to government life. Duryodhana insulted him and also threatened him accusing him of being an enemy spy because of his affection for the Pandavas. And actually Vidura was a kind of spy. He did warn the Pandavas about the house of shellac to be set afire.

Srila Prabhupada describes how Vidura was actually grateful to Duryodhana for giving him the opportunity to exit Hastinapura, travel alone and visit holy places as a mendicant pilgrim. No one recognized him. His hair had grown out and his clothing was that of a mendicant. 

He took the insults as a great blessing and gave up everything to fix his mind more purely on devotional service to the Lord. He met Uddhava who was lost in the mood of separation and later Maitreya Rsi who instructed Vidura in the science of transcendence.

NOTHING GOING FOR ME

I have absolutely nothing going for me. Not from past accomplishments. Not from anything in the present.. that is for sure. And no hope for anything in the future. Somehow I keep breathing and eating.There couldn't possibly be anyone more useless to others than me. I'm less than a bug.
I'm not saying this to be humble because I am really some great this or that. I'm saying it because if anyone were to follow my daily activities they would see what I am saying. 

The only thing I can think of is that somehow this is Lord Krishna's mercy on me. To keep me out of trouble. Which I still manage to find anyway. Whatever I try to do I mess up. So He is so kindly allowing me to sit on the sidelines and watch as the Hare Krishna movement unfolds. 

I guess there have to be a few disciples like me who really can't do anything much to help but sure do bliss out drinking the nectar Srila Prabhupada has put into the ether.

COULD GOD EVER NOT EXIST?

"Could God ever not exist?"
I asked myself this question this morning.

"Of course not, right? He is the totality of everything that does exist both material and spiritual. Everything is an expansion of either Himself personally or His energy." How could there be nothing... forever?"

But then I thought, "So what. He's a person. Maybe He could get so depressed that He would "want" to not exist."

Then I thought, "What could possibly bring Him to that state?"
"If there was no Radharani."
"Yes, She is His passion personified. She is His joy, His ecstasy, His bliss, His emotions personified."

That's powerful.
Let me take shelter of Srimate Radharani.

IGNITING THE PASSION

How can we do anything if we are not passionate about it? How can we be happy without being passionate. How can we experience love if we are not passionate?

Spiritual passion is different from material passion. We have to become passionate for Krishna consciousness. Engage in service, some service, whatever it is, with passion.

Definition of passion: strong and barely controllable emotion.

We can act from a platform of service without passion but only for so long. We will be tested. Mundane performance of service? What for? What is there to gain? A test will come. We have to weigh and measure. What will I gain and what will I lose if I do this simply as a matter of duty? We won't be able to unless we can offer that sense of duty into the fire of passion. Performing our service passionately for Lord Krishna.

This was Arjuna's dilemma. Lord Krishna ignited the fire of passion for performing his duty for Him. It was not simply, "You must do your duty!" It was, "Become passionate about performing your duty for Me. Then you will be happy no matter what the outcome."

The spiritual master ignites the passion.

A NEW BLAH BLAH

Newness..

"Hey everybody. I've got a new blah blah."

Ah...The pleasure and distraction of newness.

We all know how it works and have experienced it a zillion countless times for lifetimes. But guess what. We forget. We even think this is the way things have to be. There isn't anything else.

The newness only lasts for a little while, in the beginning, spawned by the mode of passion which after a while morphs into hum drum (maintaining) and then eventually yech! It gets really, really old, as the saying goes!

I know someone whose life fits the playbook perfectly. But that is just about the case with everyone.

Here's their script:

Marry. Get going great guns. The world is ours to conquer and enjoy.

Then the children are a disappointment. They have a mind and will of their own and it doesn't coincide with theirs.

The husband develops heart disease and is gone.

It was new and exciting in the beginning, lasted for some time and now it is ended.

The person becomes thoughtful and somewhat introspective. But then..Hey! They have an idea for a new situation.

Newness. Rebirth in a new situation.

They wait for the chance to go for it, their new dream. The opportunity comes and they jump into their new external skin. The new situation. And now they are going great guns again. Who needs introspection... Enjoy the wildness of the newness.

Until of course they realize nothing has really changed and the new situation isn't new anymore and it becomes hum drum and "Hey! Haven't we been here before?"

It gets really, really old...

STAY WITH ME ON THIS....

Try to stay with me on this...

I have a dear relative. She is made of gold, really. A glorious life of service to the country, to the community, to people in general.

Talented, artistic, warmhearted. Kind to animals. Dynamic personality. Funny.

I mean a really great all around person. She is older now, mid 70's and recently lost her husband. Another great person. Their life together was a story book. Especially to be blessed with such a life in the Kali yuga in America.

She's doing very well with the loss and remaining active. Beautiful grandchildren. So I would have to say a great life, Did it all.

But now... all there is are memories. Beautiful memories. But that's all there is. It's over. Only the thoughts remain.

For someone practicing Krishna consciousness they may not have such an ideal life. They may, but then again they may not. But right from the get-go the Krishna conscious practitioner is fixing their thoughts on Lord Krishna, His activities, His form, His name... His service...

The Personality of Godhead is eternal and unlimited. There is no end. There is no beginning either... Eternal means without beginning or end. Try to wrap your mind around that...

In the end... no matter how wonderful the material life was... in the end we are only left with thoughts about it.

In spiritual life there is no end and our thoughts carry us to Godhead.

Same "thinking" same "remembering" outcome is very different.

VIDURA IN MOOD OF SEPARATION MEETS UDDHAVA

Vidura is on pilgrimage. He has left Hastinapura after taking Duryodhana's vicious verbal abuse and threat of physical harm as an opportunity to travel to holy places and become absorbed in thoughts of Lord Krishna.

On the way he meets Uddhava. Vidura had already been informed about the outcome of the Kuruksetra war but here we see he inquires as if he did not know. 

"Vidura asks Uddhava about the welfare of his relatives, although he already knew that they were no longer in the world. This inquiry appears to be very queer, but Śrīla Jīva Gosvāmī states that the news was shocking to Vidura, who therefore inquired again due to great curiosity. Thus his inquiry was psychological and not practical." SB 3.1.25

Vidura then inquires about all the great devotees and associates in the Yadu dynasty asking about their welfare as if nothing has happened and he doesn't know. It is clear that he is lost in remembering their greatness by talking about them in that way. He was in shock at their fate and the destruction of the Kuru dynasty. It is really heart wrenching to hear him. He is in full mood of separation and talking as if mad. As if they were all till present and nothing had happened. 

I see that with people, especially older people, who have lost someone close to them. They will sit and wait for them to come home. Or make a plate of food for them and worry that it is getting cold. Or talk to me about them as if they were in the next room. I have even been invited to go and meet them since they are just in the next room.

BURNING DESIRE TO HEAR

Transitioning from the topics in SB Canto 2 Part 2 to the topics in SB Canto 3 part 1 is very interesting. 

Suta Goswami is in the middle of detailed descriptions of how Lord Krishna creates the material world. He is about to discuss the nature of time and the sages at Naimisharanya headed by Saunaka Rsi interrupt his train of thought and request to hear about Vidura and Maitreya. 

It was not out of idle curiosity. Their meeting at Naimisharanya was not an idle occupation. We can be sure the atmosphere was surcharged with transcendental ecstasy. So why the abrupt switch?

Srila Prabhupada gives a hint... They wanted to hear more elevated topics concerning the Lord. Those who are attached to the material energy are interested more in how the material energy works... The out and out materialist will want to know so they can take advantage for their own purposes. The transcendentalist takes pleasure in hearing about the material creation because it increases their appreciation for the Supreme Being. His awesome powers and infinite mercy. 

I think the sages wanted to switch topics because a burning desire to hear about the Personality of Godhead and his devotees had been kindled by hearing about how He creates the material world. They had become more and more appreciative of the awesome powers of the Lord but they reached a point where they simply had to hear about Him, His Personality and the Personalities of those associated with him in a loving relationship. 

They actually couldn't bear to hear any more about his activities connected to controlling the material energy in the material world, where He is understood from a distance, through jnana and karma... They wanted to hear the nectar of bhakti.

They didn't just ask Suta Goswami they pleaded with him...implored him with intense desire.

WHY WAS VIDURA SURPRISED?

When Vidura was counseling his half brother Dhritarashtra that he should not give in to Duryodhana's intrigues and plots, Duryodhana became enraged..demanding Vidura be thrown out of the palace and whipped left nothing but his breath.
It is amazing to me and I'm trying to picture it.

The account is that Vidura was surprised by Duryodhana's harsh response. Why would Vidura be surprised? He knew well the degraded character of Duryodhana and his violent temper and his inclination to impious activities... the atrocities Duryodhana had already done to the Pandavas and Draupadi personally. Why was he surprised at Duryodhana's vehement response? Was Vidura naive? 

Vidura was not speaking from a political stance. He was speaking from the position of wise counsel based on sastra. A good son can liberate the father but a bad son cannot. His argument was that Duryodhana would not be able to save Dhritarashtra and the family because Duryodhana was inimical to Lord Krishna's devotees. 

But Duryodhana retaliated from a political position. The Pandavas are my enemies they stand in the way of the goal I want to achieve. Duryodhana could only see the Pandavas as enemies blinded as he was by his ambitions. 

Srila Prabhupada compares a bad son to blind eyes.They do nothing but give problems. Better to have them taken from the sockets. Which is what Vidura was advising. But Dhritarashtra was also blinded, first physically but even more significantly spiritually. He was blinded by his affection and attachment for Duryodhana. 

But why was Vidura surprised when Duryodhana retaliated against Vidura's advise that he Duryodhana should be disregarded and abandoned? Wasn't it obvious that he would become angry? Doesn't a snake strike if he is kicked?

SUCH A TIME OF WONDERS

Kali yuga is such a time of wonders. People have huge gender identity confusion. They have a particular body with gender specific features but don't know what is their purpose. I found something in Srila Prabhupada's books that might help.

"The material nature is compared to the mother. Although every living being is seen to be coming out of the mother's body, still it is a fact that the mother is not the ultimate cause of such a birth. The father is the ultimate cause of birth. Without the father's seed, no mother can give birth to a child." SB 3.10.37-40 Purport

This is going to come as a shock to many people.
But the mother is not the source of life. The father is.
I know it looks like the mother gives life but the seed comes from the father. 

It will be a shock for many but this was well known common knowledge in the past. Amazing isn't it?
They used to call this knowledge "The Facts of Life."

CRUCIFIED ... POISONED...

I seem to be someone who just loves to open cans of worms...
One time I asked the temple president, "What about book distribution?" in response to his increasing collecting money and restricting the book distribution in order to prepare for a visit from Srila Prabhupada.
The president wanted money for drapes and fancy furniture so he wanted us to stop the books which were expensive and just collect money. So when I asked the question, "But what about book distribution? Srila Prabhupada wants that more than drapes and furniture." 

The president snapped back sarcastically and to the side but so that everyone could hear, "That can of worms again!!" Years later I returned to that temple and found the fancy furniture all broken and crumbled in the back of a storeroom along with cases and cases of Srimad Bhagavatams 7.1 all water damaged and molded.

So here is another can of worms. Just love those cans of worms.

Sebastiaan Sleeuwenhoek I totally agree, most leaders in there ignorance in the movement, are hysterical homosexual in there harassment honestly. Wat about the poison issue, or Guru Maharaja an his Guru Maharaja was not just dissatisfied when he passed away, he was also poisoned in an confidential collusion, by greedy ambitious charlatans whit there contradiction coventry interpretation Reminder conversion sp Great sinister movement: They will want to crush down this movement. So it will be there; it is already there. So there may be attenpt like that. And Lord Jezus Christ was killed. So they may kill me also. Srila Prabhupada. Room conversation.May 3, 1976, Honolulu

Meena Devi Dasi Early 1960's when I was getting more and more lost before Srila Prabhupada arrived in America I had some visions (at least partially drug induced I'm sure) one of them was that I saw Jesus Christ on the cross on everyone's forehead. His arms outstretched across the eyebrows and his legs and torso falling down along the bridge of the nose. His head and face were right where yogis say the third eye is, in the center of the forehead. 

I could see who was a good guy and who was a bad guy by looking at this Jesus. If the person was a demon Jesus was suffering on the cross if the person was a deva, Jesus was smiling.. No pain and the cross was not a cross anymore it was just Jesus standing there free with arms outstretched.
So I began to think, it is not that Jesus was crucified only once 2000 years ago on a Hill somewhere in the Middle East but that He is crucified every time someone goes against the principle of love God and love thy neighbor. 

So your argument about Srila Prabhupada and poisoning is like that. It is not a question of was he poisoned once 40 years ago but He is being poisoned every time someone goes against devotional principles and harms others, especially harms aspiring devotees.

FATHER, HEAD OF FAMILY

Where is the model of the strong male figure? Father, head of family.

Rakesh Sharma (I am using my cell typing this while waiting at a store, so please forgive any errors) Strong male figure, father, head of family? They were all killed by feminism which started with women working. If you look at our social history in the U.S., you will see that because of WW II, when there was a shortage of manpower, women were recruited to work in 1940's. Thus you started having families with mothers spending their energy and devotion outside the home. That resulted in children having less love and attention. Roughly 20 years later that generation of children produced hippies in the 1960's with drugs, sexual promiscuity, etc. That generation in turn produced children getting even less attention and increase in sense gratification. Roughly 20 years later in the 1980's because increased sense gratification leads to frustration and does not satisfy anyone, you started having increased prominence of homosexuality, along with advent of diseases such as HIV. Now we are having family institution almost nonexistent, gender confusion, scores of young adults in big cities that are like thugs and hoodlums. Basically we are having a predominance of unwanted population. 

 
What does the Gita say in the very first chapter? Adharmabhibhavat Krsna, pradushyanti Kula striyah, strishu dushtasu varshneya, jayate VARNA SANKARAH (UNWANTED POPULATION), from the corruption of women comes unwanted population.
Srila Prabhupada had the 'balls' to say things like this even to Westerners, in person and in his purports.

 

Meena Devi Dasi Yes. I see what you are saying. Excellent observations. Actually there was an active campaign to get women out of the home and away from the children. The women were seen as an economic resource once they entered the work force full time. And the children could then be more easily indoctrinated in the public education system. 

 

I was a "victim" of that for sure. They called it the generation gap in the 60's. It was like living in two different worlds. The world at school and the world at home. The world at home didn't match at all what I was exposed to in the schools. Srila Prabhupada called these schools slaughterhouses. It only takes a generation or two to completely derail society.

NOTHING TO EAT IN THE HOUSE

There is nothing to eat in the house.
Three lemons and a grapefruit in the frig.
That's not going to do it.
Oh, wait, what is this yogurt container on the top shelf behind the blender?

Oh, great. I'd forgotten about this. The nuts in a shell my neighbor Gratzinia so thoughtfully brought as a gift for Christmas last year. The walnuts and pecans are long gone but there is at least a pound of Brazil nuts and filberts.

But that was such along time ago. Almost a year. They are probably not any good now. All dried out and rotten. No.. they are good. Just as fresh as if they had been picked from the tree this morning.
What amazing technology. To stay safe and sound like that just inside a little shell. Nothing could harm them. 

Now I feel badly. They were waiting all this time that maybe they would become a tree. And instead a big animal has come and broken open their safety shells and is eating them.

Dear Lord Krishna, I wish I didn't have to do these things. Please accept my offering. I thought I could find happiness by trying to enjoy Your external energy.

NOTHING LIKE A GOOD OLE PUNCHING BAG

According to which side you listen to the other side is an out and demon straight out of Hell anti Christ lowest of the low deepest darkest storehouse of every possible vile atrocity..
Maybe this is going overboard just a bit?
Csepko Miroslav Wikileaks, after going through the 65,000 emails found on Hilary Clinton's ISIS linked secretary's computer - they found evidence in email form, of the Clintons visiting Satanic rituals, satanic dinner parties involving drinking blood, semen, orgies with kids, murder sacrifice of children... their intention is to destroy everything that is pure in the world, they worship Baphomet... for a Christian nation to support a known devil worshipper like his is beyond me.... DO NOT BELIEVE what you watch on TV, do your research before you vote, believe and support. Read Trance Formation of America by Cathy O'Brian available on Amazon.com - she survived the Clinton's rape, torture and abuse after years of satanic ritual abuse - be informed.

Meena Devi Dasi Yes. You are right do not believe everything you read or see. Question everything. It's funny but neither Hillary nor Bill nor Chelsea look especially demonic. Bill is a Vegan I believe. Just saying... We love to have a demon to fight. An enemy to blame everything on. Nothing like a good old punching bag...

HOW IS IT?

How is it that simply reading a few paragraphs of Krishna Book all the worries and cares of the day have disappeared?
They will be there again in the morning. But for now they might as well be nonexistent.
Aghasura became impatient. He had come to Vrndavan to kill Krishna but could not see Krishna. He could see the cowherd boys playing and he could see the cows and calves. But he could not see Krishna.

PARTY GAMES?

Weird mood today. I'm thinking of all sorts of party games. Like the ones we used to play when we were traveling together as a group on "oil painting sankirtan." Go around the group and taking the letters of the alphabet each person has to come up with something Krishna conscious using their letter. A..Arjuna... next person B... Balaram... C Chaitanya D...devotee, and so on until someone could not think of something for their letter that had not already been said. Great for long drives.

Another one, one word linking to another somehow related to Krishna consciousness...taking turns... Hair... black.. cloud... rain... flood... saved... liberated... bhakti...

One we played when there was a lake or swimming pool where we could dive in... was to take turns standing on the edge of the water and pose as an incarnation of Lord Krishna or depict a pastime... and everyone else had to guess... When they got it right the person had to dive in. Like the incarnation diving into the material world.

I just thought of another one...based on "pin the tail on the donkey..". sorry Krishna.. it's just a game.. A large picture of Lord Krishna on the wall. Each person takes a turn trying to pin the peacock feather in His crown. They get blindfolded and spun around and around. There's a piece of blue tack on the feather. The one who gets the feather closest to the right place on His crown gets a laddu. He'll probably get a feather or two in some odd places though. This one really just should be for aspiring pujaris.

IT WAS AN EMERGENCY

From Facebook:
Yup. If we get into an interesting exchange you might find our exchange re-posted. I figure if you posted it publicly then in the comments it's no big deal if I re-post it again publicly with top billing.
Gayatri Johnston When we joined the Movement friends and family were left behind.
Meena Devi Dasi It was an emergency. It still is...

Gayatri JohnstonTrue the emergency now is when I'm near death will devotees be there to help me over or put Srila Prabhupada music on or will I go alone.
Meena Devi Dasi Right. It's not that I'm necessarily going to pass out of this material situation in the middle of a rip roaring kirtan or something. To be honest with you, I kinda don't want "devotees" to be surrounding me at that time. Please don't get me wrong. But if I don't want them around me now when I'm still somewhat healthy and functional why would I want them around me then?
I think the problem is what we consider to be "a devotee" is not really "a devotee." A "devotee" is actually very, very rare. Anyway let me practice as best I can in every situation to try to somehow find Krishna consciousness there then I won't be caught off guard when the big moment comes. Which could be at any moment.

VALLEY OF THE LOST SOULS

A few months after my brother passed away untimely, he was thirty-nine, my father and mother wanted to reopen communications with me. Our relationship had been strained for many years. I was a Hare Krishna running around airports and if that was what I wanted to do with my life that was my decision. But now that my brother was gone and I was the only one left they thought they needed to take closer look at what I was doing. So they came for a visit at the farm community where I was living.

Before going to the property we took a long peaceful drive through the surrounding area. So beautiful. All hills and pastures and trees and streams. Really, really lovely.

My mother was beginning to develop Alzheimer and we never knew what she would say or do. But we knew it would be different. Her perspective and freedom of expression were enviable. She was very funny and never mean or senile.Just "out of it" but loved and cared for so what was the problem? She was protected.

As we drove through the hills and on winding country roads fully forested every few minutes she would say "Overpopulation?" as if she hadn't already said that at least fifty times already. After a couple hours of that we were all in hysterics as you could almost time it when she say "Overpopulation?" She was so much fun. It was always like that with my mother. She was so precious.

I was living in a fourteen foot trailer in a cow pasture at a Hare Krishna farm community. There was no farming and really not even a community either but there were some people walking around chanting Hare Krishna. My mother then changed her mantra from "Overpopulation?" to "Oh, this is the valley of the lost souls."

They had great visit. Two weeks of very special service, buying bhoga for the Deities, snapping green beans, visiting the Mennonites to get milk from their farm community. They actually had a farm and milk and serving prasadam to the devotees on Janmastami.

OUT OF THE SLIME

Around the time of Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur Vaishnava culture had degraded so terribly that no intelligent man would even consider it as a serious spiritual culture.
By his writings and teachings he brought it out of the slime it had sunk into. Something like Lord Varaha lifting the Earth planet from the bottom of universe.
I offer my respectful obeisances to Lord Varaha.

SILLY INSTRUCTION

There is an instruction floating around transcendentalist circles..
"Don't criticize." How many times has someone offered to instruct me for my own good. But I find that instruction itself is a kind of criticism. "Critical of the act of criticizing."
Think about it. What if you took "No" out of your vocabulary? Do you think you might have some difficulties getting through a day? Through a life?
How is it possible to exist for even moment without making a critical judgement of some sort or other?
It is the function of the mind. To accept and reject.
And what do we base this acceptance and rejection on?
Critical thinking.
For an aspiring devotee the criteria is:
Is this favorable for Krishna consciousness or this is unfavorable.
So this instruction don't criticize is silly.

HE WASN'T A SPIRITUAL EUNUCH

I wasn't going to post this publicly. But anyone who has been following my posts knows I speak out on all sorts of things and really don't hold back anything. If I act inappropriately Lord Krishna has His ways of correcting me.
This was a recent communication with a godsister:
"Dear Vaishnavi friend, I don't want to post this publicly. but it seems that there are no leaders in the movement. The men are like eunuchs, The temple presidents are women, and the congregations are mostly Hindus. Many, many temples in the west.

It is like the men don't have any "balls." Sounds funny I know but I think this is the problem why the leaders are so pathetic and ineffectual. And even terribly degraded in private. Spiritual somehow means neutered. Have to be like Radharani yet don't have the slightest clue what that really means.
We need leaders with "spiritual balls." No one has any. This was the secret potency of Srila Prabhupada. He wasn't a spiritual eunuch.

FELLOW FOLLOWERS

To all my fellow followers of His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada who may find themselves situated as forest dwellers, monkey soldiers without an army and ambassadors to the spiritual world without an embassy on this planet I offer my most respectful obeisances and pray for our spiritual welfare.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada who has taken us under His shelter when no one else is able to do so.
All glories to His Divine Grace Gaura Kisora Das Babaji on the observance day of His disappearance. He is so mercifully reminding us that there is nothing material about Krishna Consciousness.

AND THEN THERE WAS AUSTEN

And then there was Austen. My coworker at the motel's 19 year old son. He was really getting excited about Hare Krishna. This was an exceptional young man in so many ways. Charismatic. Other kids loved him. Very funny guy. He liked to hang out with me, granny and I would take him here and there.

One day we drove to visit devotees who lived in the country. We got lost and had to stop for directions. I was sitting in the car and he got to out to ask a young woman on the street directions. He made believe he didn't speak English very well, like Russian or something. and in a frantic manner he told her it was an emergency that I was about to have a baby and pointed to me in the car. What a funny kid. She told him the directions and he used the excuse of being so thankful to give her a very tight hug. More like an embrace.What a rascal!

He had given up meat eating and loved chanting. I took him with me once to a street fair. I was selling roses and bouquets on one of the corners at the fair and I gave him a handful of Perfection of Yogas and Beyond Birth and Death. He was running up to people so happy to tell them something about Krishna...from what he was understanding.

At one point I looked over to where he was and there was a huge crowd of kids all standing around him and he was talking about not being this body and there really is God. He was getting the books out in a very nice way.

I took him to the temple with me. What a mistake! We spent several hours there and then I took him home. He made up his mind he wanted to travel and teach people about love of God. He and his mother had very little money but he convinced her to buy him a good pair of walking shoes and a new sleeping bag.

That night he got a phone call from the temple president. "If you can't follow 4 regulative principles and chant 16 rounds we don't want you here."

I was shocked. First of all they would treat him like that and second of all that they showed no respect to me. If there was a problem why didn't they discuss with me since the boy was taking shelter of me and I was trying to direct him.

Austen didn't want to have anything to do with the Hare Krishna movement after that.

So that's ISKCON. The movement is dead.

LESSON FROM CHARLIE CHAPLAN

There is something to be said for trying to present Krishna consciousness according to time place and circumstance. Particular cultures. Specific groups of people.To scientists, in interfaith discussions, among university professors and scholars, among government officials. 

But to put things in perspective, since the history shows that disciples tend to throw the baby out with the bathwater, introduce expansion at the cost of destroying the capital reserves or another way to look at it: taking out the bricks in the foundation to build the fourth floor.

One of Srila Prabhupada's favorite anecdotes was about Charlie Chaplin. The skit takes place in a ballroom with everyone dressed in formal attire. Ladies in long gowns and men in tuxedos and they are dancing, waltzing. Charlie Chaplin somehow or other gets the tails of his tuxedo caught on something and they tear off. It is very funny looking. The white shirt underneath is peaking through the torn jacket on his backside. At first he is embarrassed and wants to hide.What to do? He is puzzled, But just keeps dancing. Then he puts his head high in the air and dances pompously. He has something others don't have. He dances in such a way that everyone cannot help but look at him. He takes the center of all attention. Everyone follows him. They all tear the tails off their tuxedos and start dancing like him. 

Srila Prabhupada loved that story. He would laugh.

Why did they do that? What is the psychology? They wanted what he had... torn tuxedo? No.They were attracted to his personal qualities. His boldness, fearlessness, confidence. He was jubilant. Being different was an asset. Who would have even noticed him otherwise?

PERSONAL HISTORY-TRANSITIONING

When I was trying to transition out of the temple service now that Srila Prabhupada had disappeared and I could not find service or shelter in the temple I didn't know what to do. In the temple service for fifteen years... how do I live? I will need money. I knew how to approach people for a donation for the temple, myself I only had pretty much what I was wearing and a couple changes of clothes. Now I would need somewhere to live, rent to pay, some sort of source of income.

I had operated one of the flower stands for the temple flower business, so I knew how to do that. Now I would have to do something like that for myself. I didn't want to work for myself, but what could I do? I would have to work for myself and still somehow be Krishna conscious.

I started with a handful of red carnations standing on a street corner. I remembered the story Srila Prabhupada told about the man who became very rich but started out with a dead mouse. The story goes:

A man wanted to start his own business but he had no money to begin with. He approached a friend to ask for a loan. The friend told him he didn't need a loan. There was money in the street and pointed to a dead mouse. At that time the government was paying two paisa for dead mice to try to study a plague that was spreading. He took the dead mouse and with the money bought some unwashed dahl. He washed the dahl and went door to door. He made four paisa. He went back with the four paisa did the same thing again and again and using that same principle became one of the richest men in India. It is a true story.

I thought, "If I sell even one or two that means I can sell more." I did. I sold two carnations for $.50 each. I began expanding it. Soon I had people working for me and we were on a few different corners. And it was not just red carnations but all sorts of flowers, lilies, tulips, bouquets, roses. Holidays like Valentines Day were overwhelming. But I saw that if I had to throw flowers away then I had lost some profit.

One day a woman approached me that she wanted to sell the flowers and she had an idea. If I would get the flowers for her and she would go in and out of the night clubs. She was certain we could make a lot of money. This was the perfect outlet for the left over flowers from the day. We could make huge bouquets instead of discarding them. Brenda was such a rare soul. Native American Cherokee, very overweight, a very gentle person. No education. But wise beyond beyond belief.

Nine years. We sold the flowers. They loved her in the clubs. She was everyone's mother. Our competition for night-club-flower-lady was always a sexy young women. But Brenda beat the competition out hands down. The owners wouldn't let anyone but Brenda inside. When she made her appearance in the clubs they rushed to her to get the flowers. We had balloons and little teddy bears.

At that same time I was maintaining a prasadam program that met once a week in a facility given to me by the city. A recreation hall with a kitchen. They advertised the program as Vegetarian plus, learning how to cook vegetarian. We would make something simple like puris, make an offering to Srila Prabhupada (that was the plus part to the Vegetarian plus) and then have a big feast. Sitting together and discussing life, health and Krishna consciousness. Playing Srila Prabhupada's bhajans and kirtans in the back ground. I would dress in full devotional regalia. It was free but donations always paid for everything. There were regulars and then I never knew who might just show up. The former mayor came one day and took a big bag of cookies. Yogis and seekers came out of curiosity. Street people came for a free lunch.

The manager of the recreation hall was transferred to another facility. She begged us to come with her but the facility was too far away and there was no kitchen.

The new manager was a demon. That was it. We lost the facility.