Saturday, July 26, 2014

NO! NO! NOT CRAP!

My neighbor is very friendly and very helpful for everyone. I was new here and she set me up with a good insurance company, a good doctor, helped me get a key for the community gate. She makes it a point to talk with everyone. Small, wiry build, dark hair and very Italian...talks with her hands constantly in motion. You immediately feel drawn to her. Coco is the Queen of the Gated Community.

Meeting with her always leaves me enlivened somehow in Krishna consciousness. Today was no different. She was, as usual, walking her little dog who jumps with joy all over you as soon as he sees you. In the early evening just before dusk when it cools off somewhat I collect flowers and greens from the bushes that grow here for the next morning's altar service.

There are giant hibiscus bushes that produce the most fantastic blooms. Unfortunately, they have no fragrance but the blooms are very showy...some pink and some red. If I cut the buds in the early evening just before dark then the next day they open. They only last for one day but they are truly spectacular. 

I was collecting the hibiscus buds when Coco stopped to ask, "How are you? How is your father?" When she asks, she means it. Not just making conversation. She really wants to know.

"He is not doing very well. His hip is bothering him and now he is in a wheel chair and he is losing his eyesight."

Coco offered, "Just leave it up to God. He's ninety five.. That's what happens."

I said, "I cry. I don't like to see him suffer. I try to make him as comfortable as I can. It's a package deal...birth...death...old age and disease."

She said, "There is more than that. Why do you always say things like that?"

"Because it's true. This planet is a place for birth, death, old age and disease. There are other planets where there is no birth, death, old age and disease."

Coco is Catholic. "I don't know what God you worship."

"There is only one, Coco."

She came closer to look at the pendant around my neck, a small picture in very vibrant colors of Krishna holding the flute.

“That’s Krishna. Isn't he cute?”

I told her, "Like the Buddhists. One of their meditations is to spend countless hours creating the most intricate designs in a sand mosaic. And when it is finally done they immediately smash it…the nature of this world."

I handed her one of the branches with a hibiscus bud. (I quickly offered it in my mind to the Lord.) "I am collecting these for my worship tomorrow morning. They open up so beautifully. Put it in water and watch the miracle."

She took it and looked at me quizzically, "So you give me crap? This is just going to die!"

I didn't know what to say. All I could manage was, "No! No! Not crap!"

She was gesturing with her hands. I said, "Don't wave it around. I know you're Italian and you can't talk without using your hands but the bud will fall off."

She took it, grasping it tightly and continued on her way.

It is always like this with Coco. It's always fun interacting with her. There is always room to interject something about Krishna.

Now, the next morning and I am arranging for the altar the hibiscus from yesterday and I am remembering Coco's comment. "So you give me crap. This will just die."


Without devotion to Krishna it is just crap and it will just die. Everything is just crap. And everything will just die. 

Saturday, July 19, 2014

BUT STILL I THINK


Invoking the blessings of Govinda Dasa Kaviraja:
I tried to make my home in the material world.
The wind came and blew my house away.

I tried to make another home.
My money was stolen leaving me penniless and in debt.
I lost my home

I tried to make another home.
My health failed and I was forced to leave.

Now I am shelter less.
Where will I go?
To make another home in the material world?
What is the use?

I tried to make a nice family for love and pleasure.
All my family members have died.
What was the use?

In the end I am alone and death is near for me too.
What is there to hold on to in the material world?
Even my own body is being taken away.

But still I think, “There is something of value,
something worth fighting for,
something worth trying to enjoy.”

I cannot help anyone.
I cannot even help myself.

I have to be forced in this way to take shelter at the Lotus Feet of Govinda, simply because every other shelter I have tried to take has failed.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

AS FRAGILE AS A DEVOTIONAL CREEPER



Oh Tulsi, as fragile as a devotional creeper…

I have never planted Tulsi Devi outdoors before. Indoors means protecting Her from houseplant insects and diseases. Even children can sometimes cause a problem. Small children sometimes uproot Tulsi. But outdoors is a whole 'nother thing. There are so many more threats to Tulsi's safety and serenity. The South Florida climate is ideal for Her to grow directly in the ground. The Tulsi plants are now over four feet high with no sign of slowing down. They are full, lush and very green. There are manjaris everyday.

First off I realized I would have to protect Her from the peacocks that wander in and around and on top of the houses. In their hunger and search for food Tulsi devi, I noticed, was very attractive to them. Especially the new little buds. The peacocks can easily destroy a Tulsi plant in a matter of a few minutes. Bird net attached to bamboo poles seems to have done the job. It is hardly noticeable as fencing and yet the birds won’t go near it because it tangles and sticks to things, like feathers.

Then there was the danger of flooding. There are some very intense downpours, what to speak hurricanes which I have yet to experience here. This property is at somewhat of a low point for the surrounding area. All the water coming off the roofs of nearby houses collects here. It is sandy soil so it drains away fairly quickly but it can collect up to 8" deep before it subsides. No money here to work with, trust me on that. Fortunately I found some dumped clay roof tiles…perfect for a circular wall 1' high around Tulsi's garden. There has been no flooding inside Her garden since the wall has gone up.

Then there are the home owner association’s “gardeners.” These people have never planted anything in their life. I'm sure of that. All they know how to do is cut everything down. Some lovely small flowering bushes have fallen victim to their weed eaters. Some simple signs “KEEP OUT - NO GARDENERS PLEASE” seems to keep that danger away.

Then there is the neighbor’s hyper dog. When I go out to attend to Tulsi, the dog comes up to the neighbor’s small fence (it is small dog) about 5 feet away and bark and bark and bark. Non stop. The neighbor comes out to get him after a while. But it is very disturbing. In another post we went over all the options, making friends with dog, making friends with the neighbor, spraying dog with a hose, reporting the neighbor to the home association, yada yada, yada...I’ve tried to make frineds with the dog, it’s not that kind of dog… The neighbor is not someone I can just talk with. But that is another story. When I posted about the barking problem a while ago I received a lot of very good and practical advice. The advice about the "Dog Silencer" seemed worth a try. I ordered one (not cheap) but it looks like it might work. It arrived today and I have placed in Tulsi’s garden. So when the dog barks in Tulsi’s direction the silencer will activate.

Oh Tulsi Maharani, Please forgive me if I am offending you or others. I don’t know what else to do. No fence… the peacocks will destroy you. No wall…the floods will wash the soil from around Your roots. No signs… the gardeners will do who knows what with their weedeaters. No dog silencer…and the dog will bark and bark and bark.

I am making so many mistakes all the time. Sometimes out of poor judgment and sometime out and out ignorance.

For example: When I first planted You in the ground I didn't see to it that Your flowers were collected and I allowed them go to seed. This completely exhausted You and You left after only a few months. Not only that the seeds from those flowers went everywhere, carried by the wind and hundreds of small Tulsi plants began springing up everywhere. I am not able to protect them. I am so slow to learn, slow even to learn the hard way. So now there is not really enough room to care for all Your plants nicely. What kind of servant am I? Very, very dull and stupid.


But I pray, Oh Vrnda Devi, that You allow me to always try to serve You. You are my teacher. Without You how will I learn anything about devotional service. About Krishna in Vrnadavan?   

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I PRAY - SOONER RATHER THAN LATER


Jaya Srimate Tulsi Devi!

The home inspector came today. Christina from the Netherlands has her own home inspection business. Very nice person. Beautiful, healthy looking. Clear eyes and thoughtful manner. Sitting together discussing the results of the inspection Christina noticed the japa beads around my neck and the bowls of prasadam Tulsi leaves and manjaris on the table in front of us.

The conversation began. Tulsi Devi the sacred plant of India, a Pure Devotee of Krishna... Completely engaged in devotional service to Krishna. Her small branches are for neck beads to protect devotees, Her larger branches are for japa beads to help devotees chant the Lord's Names, Her flowers and leaves are offered to the Lord with every food and water offering and made into garlands for Him to wear. Her Pure devotion is very simple.

Christina found this fascinating. She was happy to taste one Tulsi leaf and accept some cold water.

This is a step in the right direction. Christina will get another opportunity to engage in devotional service. 

I pray - sooner rather than later.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

I FORGET


So blissful. Chanting Hare Krishna…walking in the little Tulsi garden. She is growing so nicely. ..so big and full. I have never seen Tulsi so magnificent. I pray… "I only want to be with You, Tulsi Maharani, forever."

But then I am afraid. The last time I prayed like that was several years ago when I was walking in a parking lot in 100 degree heat carrying a bag full of Bhagavad gitas my shoulders aching from the weight and approaching people as they came out of the supermarket to take this book and read it. I prayed then, “I only want to do this forever here on this planet or any planet.” It was so hot and I thought I might die from the heat. The ecstasy of serving the Lord was there.

Force of circumstances and that service was not available to me after some time. I tried to hold onto it, by any means. But it was gone. Not available to me. Like the sun in the sky passing the zenith and then disappearing on the horizon. Truly like that. Darkness set in. Srila Prabhupada had left the planet. I feel my throat choking and tears welling in my eyes just recalling.

Now I have prayed, “Oh Tulsi, I just want to serve You like this forever.” Immediately I am fearful. Force of circumstances will come again.

I see that there is ecstasy in serving the Lord and His Pure Devotee…so much so that I forget where I am. I think I am in the spiritual world. And then there is some reminder, “No. You are not completely in the spiritual world. You are preparing for returning there but you are still in the material energy, the illusory energy. You are practicing and preparing.” 

The ecstasy is so real I forget the material world. But then I am reminded. The neighbors remind me. They are materially conditioned souls. Next door turns his television on too loud. The sound of the chatter and noise it makes wafts over to the Tulsi garden. Another neighbor is cooking meat and the smell hangs in the air. Someone else has a yard full of small dogs that bark at me as I try to chant.

No I am not in the spiritual world yet. I must learn to welcome these reminders…for that is all they are: reminders to increase my desire. If everything was perfect and there were no disturbances like when the mode of goodness is prominent then I might become complacent and think I was already back home, Back to Godhead.

This is the danger of elevation to heavenly planets. The heavenly planets are so delightful. Life there is free from aggravations. Gardens, entertainment, music, art, drama and sense pleasures beyond what I can even conceive are the norm. So it is dangerous for a devotee.


Enjoying or suffering is all the same in the material world, the world of Krishna's illusory energy, the world of repeated birth and death.  

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

DOGS


Having some difficulty with a neighbor. 

They have fenced-in their property which meets my property in the back where I have made a nice Tulsi garden. They let their three dogs run loose in their fenced-in area but as soon as the dogs see me collecting Tulsi leaves or worshiping Tulsi devi they bark ferociously and strain at the fence, like they want to kill me. It's horrible. After some time either the man or the woman will call the dogs into the house but this attack mode continues for a good while before they call them in. 

I have tolerated this for almost two years. There is no way to make friends with these dogs. I have tried. They are just not the kind of dogs you make friends with. Plus the owners are inadvertently training them to do this by calling them into the house to stop the barking and giving them a treat. So the attack mode is getting worse. It really is very disturbing for Tulsi devi.

We all know what dogs do to Tulsi devi when they can get away with it.

Last week the people went away for the day and left the three dogs outside all day. I had to deal with it all day. It was a day I had put aside to tend Her garden…weed-pulling etc. The dogs would not stop. After thirty minutes I was in a rage. I could have killed. I am usually very peaceful but if my temper is ignited I have a very difficult time to control it. It is taking a lot of practice for me to control my temper. But I just couldn’t tolerate having this go on and disturbing Tulsi devi like this.

I don’t have any money but I have decide to go ahead and put up a six foot high wooden privacy fence. This should help since the dogs will not be able to see beyond the fence. 

However my anger will not go away. I was chanting this morning, four days later and I still was angry. Not just at the dogs, after all they are just dogs but at the people who own them for allowing this to go on. I could not concentrate on chanting. It was horrible. 

And then I got what I needed. Lord Nrshimha deva's mercy!!! Krishna in His incarnation as Sri Nrshima.
My Lord gets angry when His devotees are threatened. I didn’t need to get angry. Krishna was already very angry. And I could almost hear His beautiful roar resound throughout the universes as when He appeared to protect Prahlad. What a gorgeous sound…music to the ears filling the hearts of the devotees with love and a frightening horror for the demons.


When I get the wooden fence put up in a few weeks I am going to place a carved, wooden, ferocious, roaring lion's head on the side facing the neighbors.